Sunday, January 4, 2009

forgiving Tom-Tom

Safely back in the 360, I learned a lot about life in Death Valley. For instance, life's much more enjoyable when you surrender expectations and control. Friends are the people who "do life" with you. And adventures never turn out quite the way you plan.

As Emily and I explored the gulleys stemming from the base of the Ubehebe crater, we started picturing the "Valley of the Shadow of Death" that David writes about in the Psalms. Later, we talked about what we would attempt in life if failure was not a possible consequence, what we would try if there were not any fear in the world. Both conversations helped crystallize my thoughts about life in Christ.

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:1-4

My greatest goal for 2009 is to become content in Kitsap county. I guess you could say it's a New Year's Resolution, or something. Really, it starts with Ps 23:1. If I recognize God as my Shepherd, there's no need to want anything else. It's pretty pathetic to be discontent.

Walking along the Badwater Basin saltflats (the lowest point in North America) on New Year's Eve, Sharon drew a great parallel to 2008. Holding her hands to the sky, she told me, "2009: It can only go up from here!" It's a catchy motto.

When I step back and re-assess 2008, God has provided so faithfully. He's made me lie down in the green pastures of home, the quiet waters of a familiar environment. He's restoring my soul through the encouragement and support of family and wise counsel. He's guiding me in paths of good teaching and right living so He'll recieve glory. Praise be to God!

I've only been to Death Valley National Park. I'm not claiming to have experienced the valley of the shadow of death. I've never had a loved one die unexpectedly. My encounters with loss are limited.

Still, I found myself fighting demons Thursday night, sitting shotgun in a friend's Subaru Outback. We knew we were off-route (no thanks to Tom-Tom) and pulled off SR 580 at Livermore, at the exit for Sandia Industries. Then, the car started making terrible, grinding noises, unable to transition into any gear. It sucked.

But God is the good shepherd. He provides for our needs. In His perfect time and for His glory, God noticed our car problems. He allowed us to move the car to the shoulder before a single car passed on the busy road. While the clutch was still very picky, we were able to return to I-5 and find a dealership the next morning. Finally, we were able to drive all the way home without any lasting damage. In fact, by the end of the trip, the car drove beautifully and even survived Portland rush hour traffic.

This vignette of faithfulness allows me to hope that God will heal my heart in a similar way. So, even if I still can't sleep through the night, I won't fear evil. This is where God wants me: humbled, broken, seeking His heart. Maybe I had to return to Kitsap to get there. If this is where God's leading me, it's the only place to go.

It's how I can forgive Tom-Tom for leading us on more than a few wild-goose chases through California and Nevada. It's how I can learn to let go of selfish hopes and dreams. It's how I can trust there will be green pastures, eventually. It's how I can claim Christ's victory.

Happy New Year.

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Ephesians 5

Therefore, be imitators of God as dearly loved children and live in love, just as Christ also loved us and gave himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God. But among you there must not be either sexual immorality, impurity of any kind, or greed, as these are not fitting for the saints. Neither should there be vulgar speech, foolish talk, or coarse jesting – all of which are out of character – but rather thanksgiving. For you can be confident of this one thing: that no person who is immoral, impure, or greedy (such a person is an idolater) has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

Let nobody deceive you with empty words, for because of these things God’s wrath comes on the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them, for you were at one time darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of the light – for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness, and truth – and find out what pleases the Lord. Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For the things they do in secret are shameful even to mention. But all things being exposed by the light are made evident. For everything made evident is light, and for this reason it says:

“Awake, O sleeper!

Rise from the dead,

and Christ will shine on you!”

Therefore be very careful how you live – not as unwise but as wise, taking advantage of every opportunity, because the days are evil. For this reason do not be foolish, but be wise by understanding what the Lord’s will is. And do not get drunk with wine, which is debauchery, but be filled by the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making music in your hearts to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for each other in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, and submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as also Christ is the head of the church – he himself being the savior of the body. But as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to sanctify her by cleansing her with the washing of the water by the word, so that he may present the church to himself as glorious – not having a stain or wrinkle, or any such blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one has ever hated his own body but he feeds it and takes care of it, just as Christ also does the church, for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is great – but I am actually speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each one of you must also love his own wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

hey guys