Saturday, October 31, 2009

before the crash

Today has evolved into an anti-social day.

This morning, I woke up to sun breaks after a pretty violent wind and rainstorm last night. I headed to a coffee shop in town to have a quiet time of solitude. Texted some friends for their prayer requests. Spent some time reading the Bible.

Then, as the day wears on I watch my attitude slip from "stellar" to "sucky".

Taking the ferry to Seattle this afternoon, my attitude was under attack. Memories haunted each corner of the car deck. What better day than Halloween to deal with your ghosts, I guess.

I met up with my parents at the ferry dock to show them around Pioneer square. (They'd spent the afternoon meeting up with John at REI and were getting ready to leave Seattle). The parking meter wouldn't give me a receipt and I almost burst into tears. Luckily, Dad is pretty level-headed and saw another meter around the corner. Crisis averted.

I've always hated November. Life gets so busy just before the Holidays. And, at least in Kitsap, the weather consistently is miserable. I feel that my attitude is right on the edge. Moments away from temptation, from mistakes, from weeping. November is always the time when the ground falls out from underneath.

Maybe this November will be different. But, if today is any indication, I feel like I'm in the slow-motion moment of life--right before the crash.

1 comment:

  1. Pom PomOctober 31, 2009 at 8:33 PM

    What IS it about November? It isn't my favorite either but I've never thought about why. You know, it wouldn't be a bad idea to buy some art supplies and do a little drawing and coloring. It may chase the blues away - it does for me. Maybe put some music in your pretty ears and let the Spirit sing to your soul. I love your writing. You are a favorite of mine, Sweetums.

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Ephesians 5

Therefore, be imitators of God as dearly loved children and live in love, just as Christ also loved us and gave himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God. But among you there must not be either sexual immorality, impurity of any kind, or greed, as these are not fitting for the saints. Neither should there be vulgar speech, foolish talk, or coarse jesting – all of which are out of character – but rather thanksgiving. For you can be confident of this one thing: that no person who is immoral, impure, or greedy (such a person is an idolater) has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

Let nobody deceive you with empty words, for because of these things God’s wrath comes on the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them, for you were at one time darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of the light – for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness, and truth – and find out what pleases the Lord. Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For the things they do in secret are shameful even to mention. But all things being exposed by the light are made evident. For everything made evident is light, and for this reason it says:

“Awake, O sleeper!

Rise from the dead,

and Christ will shine on you!”

Therefore be very careful how you live – not as unwise but as wise, taking advantage of every opportunity, because the days are evil. For this reason do not be foolish, but be wise by understanding what the Lord’s will is. And do not get drunk with wine, which is debauchery, but be filled by the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making music in your hearts to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for each other in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, and submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as also Christ is the head of the church – he himself being the savior of the body. But as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to sanctify her by cleansing her with the washing of the water by the word, so that he may present the church to himself as glorious – not having a stain or wrinkle, or any such blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one has ever hated his own body but he feeds it and takes care of it, just as Christ also does the church, for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is great – but I am actually speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each one of you must also love his own wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

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