I've been talking with a lot of friends lately about this journal entry from last week. Very late Saturday night (actually Sunday morning) I wrote down some expectations for future relationships. Some are more serious than others.
Ultimately, I've been challenged by Proverbs 20:6 that says, "Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?" It's a verse about Jesus. It's a warning against placing your trust in any person (man or woman, really). To me, it's an anthem about our faithful Savior.
I'd rather invest ALL of my time and energy on the mission in this season of life. It sets a precedent for any man who decides to pursue my heart. There are great reasons to stay single and great reasons to pursue marriage in the Bible (think, 1 Cor 7 in particular).
For now, my role is to follow the Holy Spirit as He points to my Groom. I love that the Church is called Christ's Bride. In fact, I love all of Ephesians 5.
So, here are the "8 rules of dating Laura":
1) Actively pursue God's will in your life. If I'm not His will for you, don't waste our time. The harvest is ready and the workers are few. We both need to be harvest workers.
2) Read your Bible every single day. Don't call or text me unless you've already read it!
3) Please don't say "I love you" until you swear you will never take it back. Love is a commitment, a choice. Love is significantly and intentionally more than a "feeling." I don't mind waiting until the day you slip a wedding band on my finger to hear you say "I love you." It's THAT big of a deal.
4) Treat my body the same way you would want another man to treat your wife. I am not your wife yet.
5) You must see me cry before you ask me out on any one-on-one type date. All of my past relationships have ended because of the amount and frequency that I cry.
6) Spend a whole day with my family before you ask me out. They are really weird. But, I am very much like them. And, I plan to spend a lot of time with them in the future. If you are the right man to pursue me, they will love you no matter what, especially my mom.
7) Actively pursue me with affirming words. I would love to talk with you (if even for 5 minutes) every day that is possible.
8) Directly communicate your needs, desires, hopes, and fears. It's okay to filter your ideas, but please be direct.
For the time being, these rules are a little too much on the "truth" side than the "grace" side. After all, they are rules.
But, I think God can use these rules to continue growing and protecting my heart. Now, to accept His grace!
Friday, June 17, 2011
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Ephesians 5
Therefore, be imitators of God as dearly loved children and live in love, just as Christ also loved us and gave himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God. But among you there must not be either sexual immorality, impurity of any kind, or greed, as these are not fitting for the saints. Neither should there be vulgar speech, foolish talk, or coarse jesting – all of which are out of character – but rather thanksgiving. For you can be confident of this one thing: that no person who is immoral, impure, or greedy (such a person is an idolater) has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
Let nobody deceive you with empty words, for because of these things God’s wrath comes on the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them, for you were at one time darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of the light – for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness, and truth – and find out what pleases the Lord. Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For the things they do in secret are shameful even to mention. But all things being exposed by the light are made evident. For everything made evident is light, and for this reason it says:
“Awake, O sleeper!
Rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you!”
Therefore be very careful how you live – not as unwise but as wise, taking advantage of every opportunity, because the days are evil. For this reason do not be foolish, but be wise by understanding what the Lord’s will is. And do not get drunk with wine, which is debauchery, but be filled by the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making music in your hearts to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for each other in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, and submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as also Christ is the head of the church – he himself being the savior of the body. But as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to sanctify her by cleansing her with the washing of the water by the word, so that he may present the church to himself as glorious – not having a stain or wrinkle, or any such blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one has ever hated his own body but he feeds it and takes care of it, just as Christ also does the church, for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is great – but I am actually speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each one of you must also love his own wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Oh, Laura. You are a treasure. Keep crying. Your heart is squishy.
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