With my upcoming trip to Burkina Faso becoming more and more of a reality, I caught myself worrying that I'd made the wrong choice to pursue National Boards. Not that I'm going to quit (after investing $2500 and WAY too much time into the process). I know that I write well enough, so I have been relying on my own skills and abilities to finish the required papers. I confided to my mentor this week that I had been worrying about my abilities to finish the portfolio and assessment. When I sat down to write, I was hit by an overwhelming sense of guilt, that I chose to pursue National Boards certification for selfish, self-promoting reasons.
"Do you pray?", she asked.
Um, no. It was so obvious, sitting there in the coffee shop. But so monumental in the me-focused hyper-reality that is me and my tired little laptop.
"Turn your National Boards writing into worship," she proposed.
That's a game changer. Hold on, I think the Universe just shifted.
So, this weekend I worshipped our Creator with the creativity He gave me. All of the skills and abilities that I have are because of His grace and provision. Any compassion I show in the classroom is reflection of His compassion for me and humanity. My interactions with students, staff, and community come from a God-given desire for transformation in Kitsap county. Somehow, because of His faithfulness, my worry melted into worship this weekend.
In religious defense of the Sabbath, I haven't "worked" on Sundays since January 2009. It has been a beautiful, healthy boundary for the most part. With a March 31 deadline fast approaching for the National Boards portfolio, I've been especially religious to not write any National Boards papers on Sunday.
Today's sermon on religious arrogance and hypocrisy, coupled with the newfound directive to write my portfolio as an act of worship, changed my perspective. After an unforeseen request from a neighbor to drive to the police department (another story for another day), I went to work out at the Y. I happened to roll out my yoga mat next to Molly, the district facilitator for... the National Boards process. She gave some positive feedback about a recent entry I had e-mailed, letting me know that her detailed suggestions were waiting in my work inbox. Then, we talked work and mission before yoga class began.
What to do: sabbath or worship?
That's the beauty of grace. Religion doesn't save me, Jesus does. So I came home and settled into full-on worship mode.
Learning the truth of humility. There will be many more times I have to change my ways. Many more chances to recognize mistakes and learn from them. Other opportunities to turn worry into worship.
It may take a lifetime of game-changers, universe shiftings, coffee shops, and yoga classes to train my heart to praise His name. So very grateful for grace tonight. Rejoicing in salvation I can't earn.
A verse from today's word study on humility:
For the LORD takes pleasure in his people; he adorns the humble with salvation. -Psalm 149:4
Sunday, February 26, 2012
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Ephesians 5
Therefore, be imitators of God as dearly loved children and live in love, just as Christ also loved us and gave himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God. But among you there must not be either sexual immorality, impurity of any kind, or greed, as these are not fitting for the saints. Neither should there be vulgar speech, foolish talk, or coarse jesting – all of which are out of character – but rather thanksgiving. For you can be confident of this one thing: that no person who is immoral, impure, or greedy (such a person is an idolater) has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
Let nobody deceive you with empty words, for because of these things God’s wrath comes on the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them, for you were at one time darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of the light – for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness, and truth – and find out what pleases the Lord. Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For the things they do in secret are shameful even to mention. But all things being exposed by the light are made evident. For everything made evident is light, and for this reason it says:
“Awake, O sleeper!
Rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you!”
Therefore be very careful how you live – not as unwise but as wise, taking advantage of every opportunity, because the days are evil. For this reason do not be foolish, but be wise by understanding what the Lord’s will is. And do not get drunk with wine, which is debauchery, but be filled by the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making music in your hearts to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for each other in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, and submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as also Christ is the head of the church – he himself being the savior of the body. But as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to sanctify her by cleansing her with the washing of the water by the word, so that he may present the church to himself as glorious – not having a stain or wrinkle, or any such blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one has ever hated his own body but he feeds it and takes care of it, just as Christ also does the church, for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is great – but I am actually speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each one of you must also love his own wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
What an encouraging post, Laura. You lifted my heart this morning! (BIG HUG!) Love you, good pilgrim!
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