walking the walk

Back in junior high, we used to have choral responses at church. The one I remember most was. "God is good-all the time. All the time-God is good."

It's so simple. So obvious. So earth-shattering.

On the downhill slope of the school year, I recognize God's blatant faithfulness. I see His all-the-time-goodness. I rejoice in so many opportunities to "find out what pleases the Lord."

This week is a blur of final-writing, grading, parent calls, and planned explosions. But in the middle of the week, I was allowed a glimpse of the Father's faithfulness. Sitting around a table at Island Lake Camp with my brother and sister in Christ, we paused in the busy week to praise our Provider. God is powerful enough to create jobs for the jobless. God knows our hearts and can change them, too. God can take foggy, cloudy days and transform them with sunshine. God can recapture lost children, bringing them home to Himself. Praise our Great King!

Wednesday night at our weekly youth meeting, we discussed the importance of respect in marriage relationships. The text (1 Thess 4) dovetails beautifully with Ephesians 5. (Listen to the messages here.) Paul encourages Christ's followers to live in the light, to find out what pleases the Lord and he explains practical ways to do it!

And it's not as though we walk through life alone. In another letter (Galatians 5), Paul describes the life-art of living filled by the Spirit. We walk life with the Spirit. We keep in step with the Spirit.

God is faithful. God is always with us. God is good, all the time.

a quest defined

So, in the pursuit to "find out what pleases the Lord" I may have overlooked the obvious. Tonight, at our weekly youth leader training we looked at 1 Thessalonians 3. The whole chapter's about pleasing the Lord. The gist of it is: "Keep following God's word by being holy and loving people."

So simple. So hard.

Now, the quest to find out what pleases the Lord is by no means over. But the route's a little more defined. The bar has been set, raised even.

"But we urge you, brethren, to excel still more." 1 Thessalonians 3:10b

Laser discs and other urgent lessons

Yesterday I showed a laser disc about "The Great Quake of '89" to my earth science students. They were shocked by how big DVDs used to be. They were also shocked that Diane Sawyer used to look young. They were also shocked by the devastation caused by an earthquake twenty years ago.

One girl in sixth period was particularly outraged.

"Why don't they tell us about this?!" she yelled as soon as the film was over. "Why have I never heard about this? I had no idea this happened"

"Well, we're learning about it today," I offered.

"No!" she continued, "Why have I never heard that this happened? People died when that highway collapsed (Highway 880 in Oakland). Do people know about this?"

We had a class discussion about current plans to redesign the Alaskan Way Viaduct in Seattle. We talked about the lessons we can learn from the past and apply to our own lives. We talked about devastation caused by earthquakes of lesser magnitude in third-world countries. We talked about the massive loss of life caused by recent earthquakes in China and Pakistan.

Then the bell rang and they left. A few hours later, I went home.The girl's outrage at not knowing about "the Great Quake of '89" has been haunting me, though, with a deeper sense of urgency.

Realistically, the San Francisco earthquake of 1989 has little sway over the course of history. But, the truth of the Gospel has a huge impact on history, on life past and present. What if people were outraged about not hearing about, not knowing the truth of the Gospel?

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 explains the importance of Truth and passing Truth on to our children:
"Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the Lord is one!
You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.
You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you sit down and when you rise up.
You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.
You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."

My junior high science students consider 1989 to be ancient history. They know about 9/11 from watching the World Trade Center movie. How will they hear about a carpenter who lived in the Middle East 2000 years ago? Who will convince them this truth is life-changing, eternally relevant?

I wonder.

What if I meet these same students one day at the gates of Heaven, still asking the same question? "Why don't they tell us about this?! Why have I never heard about this? I had no idea this happened."

We have a lot to learn from the hearts of children.

Friendship

God uses blessings and challenges to grow our hearts. This weekend (extending through today) has been a beautiful work of God's faithfulness, spoken through the wisdom of old friends. Praise God for the family of believers!

Proverbs 17:17 starts out "A friend loves at all times". Granted, as humans we never love perfectly. But praise God for the friend love we experience here.

Thank you, friends, for supporting me in love. Thank you for listening to rants, to propositions, to ramblings. Thank you for loving at all times.

I pray that God continues to grow our hearts to love as He loves. At all times. Perfectly.

Love pleases the Lord. We were made to love.

Identity

Falling in love with Christ brings identity.

This month, God's been carefully re-crafting my identity, sense of self. A lot of things had to go to make room for new character. But, I'm confident the end result will bring him glory. In the meantime, I'm discovering new facets of the personality He's shaping together.

Currently, I'm the youngest teacher at school, full of energy. Earlier this week a co-worker commented, "I wish I could still re-charge as fast as you." Granted, it doesn't feel like I'm recharged every morning, but apparently I'm convincing the masses.

My students are circulating a rumor that I used to be an auctioneer. I told them the story of how I lost my voice by screaming in Death Valley over Christmas break. Apparently that translated to "our teacher used to yell for a living."

In my small group, I'm privileged to be the voice of experience. It can be intimidating to be accountable for a group of beautiful young women. I pray for them to find true love and fulfillment in Christ.

With dear friends, life is slowly returning to "normal" even if it is a "new normal". My heart is starting to take risks again, starting to embrace adventure and companionship. I'm re-learning how to trust, to forgive.

And in public, I'm once again the smiling customer, exuding innocence apparently. The other night at Safeway, a checker nominated me for sainthood. (Completely valid nomination, of course.)

But the real point isn't being normal, or achieving sainthood, or even getting enough beauty sleep. The heart of the matter is that God is shaping my heart for His glory. My life is not that big of a deal. His glory is.

Tonight at small group we read through Hebrews 11. It's a gorgeous list of the evidence of God's faithfulness. A painfully beautiful reminder of God's timescale. A promise to cling to. A hope to own.

I desire no other "normal" than to trust the God who is faithful.

In keeping with the theme of this blog, the motto of my life:
"and without faith it is impossible to please the Lord." Heb 11:6

This year, I want faith to be my "normal", my character, my identity.

Doxology

"It is fitting to thank the Lord, and to sing praises to your name, O sovereign One!" Psalm 92:1

I don't even need an occasion to praise God, really. Life itself is opportunity to praise the sovereign One. He knows our days, our ways. He is always fitting of our praises.

That's what doxology is all about.

I've been falling asleep to a playlist of John Piper sermons for most of the nights since September. (For some reason, theology knocks me out...convenient at bedtime but not on Sunday morning!) There's this one sermon pretty early in the playlist about living your life as doxology. A lifestyle of praise.

Circumstances don't always seem to be reason to praise. But God Himself is always reason enough. I pray that my life would be a constant expression of gratitude to the Savior.

The year is off to a beautiful start. Already, it's been full of sweet fellowship, personal growth and emotional healing. It's also been full of deep, lasting pain in the lives of friends and students. It's a year of challenge, of heartache, of sleeplessness, weariness, and hard, hard work. And the year is barely a week old. But the Sovereign one is timeless.

As the journey to discover what pleases the Lord continues, I'm beginning to see that the Lord is the only one who can truly please us. It's not that He needs our praise, rather, He deserves it. All good things are from Him. Praise Him.

As God keeps changing my heart, helping me be content in Kitsap, I've started listening to country. (Who knew it could happen?) There's this one song, though, that reminds me of this idea of doxology, of praising in all circumstances:

"And I wouldn't change a thing
I'd walk right back through the rain
Back to every broken heart on the day that it was breaking
And I'd relive all the years
And be thankful for the tears
I cried with every stumbling step that led to you
And got me here" (Here by Rascal Flatts)

So, there you have it, doxology from a country song. Maybe the apocalypse is coming soon after all...

forgiving Tom-Tom

Safely back in the 360, I learned a lot about life in Death Valley. For instance, life's much more enjoyable when you surrender expectations and control. Friends are the people who "do life" with you. And adventures never turn out quite the way you plan.

As Emily and I explored the gulleys stemming from the base of the Ubehebe crater, we started picturing the "Valley of the Shadow of Death" that David writes about in the Psalms. Later, we talked about what we would attempt in life if failure was not a possible consequence, what we would try if there were not any fear in the world. Both conversations helped crystallize my thoughts about life in Christ.

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil, for you are with me;

your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:1-4

My greatest goal for 2009 is to become content in Kitsap county. I guess you could say it's a New Year's Resolution, or something. Really, it starts with Ps 23:1. If I recognize God as my Shepherd, there's no need to want anything else. It's pretty pathetic to be discontent.

Walking along the Badwater Basin saltflats (the lowest point in North America) on New Year's Eve, Sharon drew a great parallel to 2008. Holding her hands to the sky, she told me, "2009: It can only go up from here!" It's a catchy motto.

When I step back and re-assess 2008, God has provided so faithfully. He's made me lie down in the green pastures of home, the quiet waters of a familiar environment. He's restoring my soul through the encouragement and support of family and wise counsel. He's guiding me in paths of good teaching and right living so He'll recieve glory. Praise be to God!

I've only been to Death Valley National Park. I'm not claiming to have experienced the valley of the shadow of death. I've never had a loved one die unexpectedly. My encounters with loss are limited.

Still, I found myself fighting demons Thursday night, sitting shotgun in a friend's Subaru Outback. We knew we were off-route (no thanks to Tom-Tom) and pulled off SR 580 at Livermore, at the exit for Sandia Industries. Then, the car started making terrible, grinding noises, unable to transition into any gear. It sucked.

But God is the good shepherd. He provides for our needs. In His perfect time and for His glory, God noticed our car problems. He allowed us to move the car to the shoulder before a single car passed on the busy road. While the clutch was still very picky, we were able to return to I-5 and find a dealership the next morning. Finally, we were able to drive all the way home without any lasting damage. In fact, by the end of the trip, the car drove beautifully and even survived Portland rush hour traffic.

This vignette of faithfulness allows me to hope that God will heal my heart in a similar way. So, even if I still can't sleep through the night, I won't fear evil. This is where God wants me: humbled, broken, seeking His heart. Maybe I had to return to Kitsap to get there. If this is where God's leading me, it's the only place to go.

It's how I can forgive Tom-Tom for leading us on more than a few wild-goose chases through California and Nevada. It's how I can learn to let go of selfish hopes and dreams. It's how I can trust there will be green pastures, eventually. It's how I can claim Christ's victory.

Happy New Year.