epic road trip adventure

Maybe we'll go camping tonight...

Day 3 of the epic road trip adventure and Jeannie & I have not camped yet. We have had some great adventures, though.

First, we missed a ferry and got ice cream. Then, we explored the UW campus. We crashed at the coolest house in all of Seattle. We worshipped Jesus with the people at Mars Hill Church. We drove 4 hours to see the Goonies house. We climbed every stair of the Astoria column and stood on the observation deck in 40 mph winds. We tried to get a yurt at Fort Stevens...but they were all full. We took our pictures with the wreck of the Peter Iredale. We stayed at a Hostel in Seaside. We listened to the rain and wind beat against the hostel window until 3 am.

That pretty much brings us to now...

Jeannie's still asleep, so I have some time to catch up on life using the wi-fi at the Hostel (it works now that the storm is over!) The verse I've been coming back to againandagainandagain this week:

"LORD, make me to know my end And what is the extent of my days; Let me know how transient I am."
Psalm 39:4 NAS


When I texted this verse to Megan on Thursday, she thought I was depressed or suicidal or something. But it's more beautiful than that. "Let me know how transient I am." A prayer to cling to for the trusting side of eternity.


On this Spring Break road trip, there is no plan. We can't be late because there is no time line.  We can't get lost because there is no destination. Somewhere along the way, I hope to get more comfortable with this concept of trust. Because, right now, it's stretching me more than I want to stretch! In fact, I'll probably march back to the room soon to wake up Jeannie so we can keep heading down the coast...


But to be transient in life...


The psalmist isn't talking about couch-surfing or temp jobs, I don't think. More like: we are passing through our time on Earth so quickly. We have eternity to worship God, but only right now to share about Him. We only have right now to trust Him. We just have right now to be His hands, His feet.


Lord, let me know how transient I am.

dream the other night

Each morning I have to set three different alarms in order to wake up. And they all have snooze buttons of different lengths. And I have to physically get up out of bed to turn them off. It's amazing, really, that I ever  make it out the door to work at all!

The other morning, somewhere towards the end of my snooze-alarm sleep, I had this dream:

It was a normal day inside my classroom. The room had a normal amount of students, some from 5th period this year and some from 5th period last year.

Then, all of the sudden, the lights went out in the hallway. I went over to shut the door, like it was a lockdown drill or something. The students were all staying calm, but it was very dark beyond the classroom. We all looked out the window and it was a bright, clear sunny day outside, though.

The door kept opening to the hallway, but no one was on the other side. When we looked out the window again, there was a class lined up in the yard taking attendance like during a fire drill. They were all smiling, fine and safe.

The door to the hallway opened again. The darkness was thick, you could feel it. I locked it from the inside, but the darkness kept trying to open the door.





Then I woke up.

Driving to school, I had this unsettled spirit. What was I so worried about to cause a weird dream like that? I half-expected the power to go out during the school day. I debated whether or not to keep my classroom door locked and propped open...

Been praying about this dream all weekend...

Driving home from church tonight, a new thought came into my mind. (I think it's from God because it lines up with everything I've read in the Bible.) Here goes:

I can't solve students' problems. But, I can point them to Jesus.

There is big, ugly, heavy darkness in this world. There are problems I can't fix. There is pain I can't heal. There are burdens I can't carry.

But JESUS is the solution. JESUS is the healer. JESUS carried our sins on the cross.

He's the light in my classroom. More than that, He's the Light of the world.

So excited for Easter!

prep period

Each day this week, I've carved out time to read the Bible in my classroom sanctuary. Some mornings, I can get there early enough to read a chapter. Other days, it's a verse before the bell rings at the end of plan period. 

Monday, with my attitude in the gutter, I read the end of Romans chapter 8. A reminder that nothing is powerful enough to keep us from God's love. He wins. Always. Hallelujah! Praise Him.

Then, last night at our youth small group, many of our discussion questions focused on the same passage. The idea of finding our identities in Christ. Dwelling in His rich love. We're God's children. He's our identity!

It's hard to remember God loves us when all I can see is failure, pain, and evil triumphing in the moment. But He does. And the battle's in His hand. What a beautiful hope.

Awhile ago now, a friend shared the idea that Jesus prays for us. At first, I wasn't sure that fit with my theology, with my concept of who God was. (It didn't.) God keeps opening my eyes to the depths of His love. In every struggle big or small, He's there. And He prays for me. Oh, to keep learning more about Him!

Here's the whole chapter. Just read it with new eyes:

Romans 8

Life Through the Spirit

 ¹Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,^[a]2because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. ³For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature,^[b] God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering.^[c] And so he condemned sin in sinful man,^[d] 4in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit. ⁵Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. ⁶The mind of sinful man^[e] is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; ⁷the sinful mind^[f] is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. ⁸Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.
 ⁹You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. ¹⁰But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. ¹¹And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.
 ¹²Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. ¹³For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, ¹⁴because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. ¹⁵For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.^[g]And by him we cry, "Abba,^[h] Father." ¹⁶The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. ¹⁷Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Future Glory

 ¹⁸I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. ¹⁹The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. ²⁰For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope ²¹that^[i] the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God. ²²We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. ²³Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. ²⁴For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? ²⁵But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
 ²⁶In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. ²⁷And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

More Than Conquerors

 ²⁸And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,^[j] who^[k] have been called according to his purpose. ²⁹For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. ³⁰And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. ³¹What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³²He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ³³Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶As it is written:
   "For your sake we face death all day long;
      we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."^[l] 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (NIV, Biblegateway)

another year

At church they've been calling this the "year of God's outrageous love" for Kitsap county and the world.

This is only my 24th year of experience, but something feels different. There's this sense of riding on the edge of a giant tidal wave. Like, God's Spirit is about to overwhelm us. And not in a destructive sense, but in a purifying sense. We're all to be made new, whole and eternal.

Tonight, I met up with a friend at Safeway. Yeah, the grocery store. We sat for the better part of an hour, swapping stories of God's goodness. Because life is hard, but God's plans are perfect. Thanks Erin, for speaking truth and encouragement into my life.

I still don't get it. I still try to make things "work" on my own strength. I often feel as though my life is tied together by fragile strings, ready to break at any moment. I worry that the whole thing will crumble down, fall apart, and never be able to be repaired. But I've got it all wrong.

Today, watching our junior high wrestling team get their butts kicked at a home meet, God brought it all into perspective. I'm not the one holding the strings of my life. The Holy Spirit moves, both in my life and the lives of those around me. I can't screw up His mission. I can't fail Him. He loves me. He wants to use every situation, every conversation, every moment for His glory.

Father, help me remember the vast reaches of your love this year. Help me use this year, this 24th chance, to be loved by You, to love You and to move Your mission forward. Give me the faith to be loved. In Jesus' name, Amen.

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." Romans 8:37 NIV

celebrating answers

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. - Luke 18:1 NIV

This week has been parable. Interactions with stories, drawn deep from the souls around my life. Stories of heartaches, of families collapsing, of grievous sin destroying its victims. Stories of deep healing, of sweet redemption, of miracles only explained through the cross.

Comcast has been having issues, so the Internet has been down here. Here's a quick re-cap of the beautiful week, in reverse, because that's the way my mind works. Jesus uses these stories to show us that we should always pray and not give up:

• God healed the Internet approximately 45 minutes ago. Sounds stupid, but this summer in Barahona convinced me that laying hands on a router is the best solution to most IT problems. My solutions would involve swearing (but I don't know good enough cuss words) or calling my friend Josh who works for Dell. God's solution involves waiting, surrendering control, trusting Him, and ultimately having an awesome time to bless my roommate's bedroom (the router location) with prayer. I almost feel like this miracle is negligible compared to the rest of this week. But I desire God to get the credit for fixing our cable, especially because it's been out for 3 days. Praise God who cares enough to grow our hearts. (Ps 120:1)
• One beloved sister shared with me this evening how she had been praying for workers to man the harvest in the prisons of Mazatlan, Mexico. Ever faithful, Jesus is sending her. What beautifully simple irony to follow Christ! May God bless Trina as she is sent out, an answer to her own prayers and the prayers of many others who care deeply for the people of Mazatlan. Praise our God who sends workers! (Luke 10:2)
• This week has been PACKED with heartache and heartbreak in the lives of students. Just this week, five different students have opened up about the painful, messy divorces that are tearing their families apart. It is an honor to be invited into their hearts. I know that God is battling for them, as the pain of sin threatens to steal their joy. (Stay away, Satan, these kids belong to Jesus! And He has won!) Praise our God, a Father to the fatherless, who sets the lonely in families. (Ps 68:5&6)
• Wednesday night at youth, a student shared how the trail of another's sin could leave a messy legacy in their life. Hearing the student's story shattered my heart. It made me so angry, that sin is allowed to infect earth. Pray for wisdom. Pray for the student and their family. God never gives up and no problem is to big for Him to handle. Praise our God who makes ALL things possible. (Phil 4:13)
• After our youth gathering on Wednesday, two fellow pastors joined me at Ridgetop to pray over my classroom. Worship music blared from the little speakers at my computer. Together in God's presence, we prayed over the students (and families) represented in Room 122. My brother Richard sat where my students sit, to intercede for their lives, their salvation. My brother Eric anointed the desks, the walls, and me with oil, consecrating this mission as holy to God. There's an oil stain of a cross, now, next to the clock on my classroom wall. A simple, beautiful reminder that Christ has already paid for the life of each student who enters this sanctuary. Praise the Savior who invites us to feast in the presence of our enemies. (Ps 23:5)
• Monday night, the same brother prayed over me to heal the lingering cough I've had for four weeks. Well, at first he made fun of me for coughing like a dog and talking like a smoker as we were walking on the street. Then, after hearing more of the backstory behind the sickness that was sapping both my strength and motivation, we stopped on the side walk and he prayed for healing. It was weird, because I'm fine with praying healing over others but uncomfortable asking God to heal me. Still, God never gives up. He cast out the cough around 11:00pm on Monday night. There was such sweet victory to spit out the last phlegm, flush it down the toilet and claim the power of Christ! Praise the God who heals. (Matt 4:23)
• And in the staff room during lunch on Monday I got to talk about Jesus with my co-workers. Praise the God who opens doors! (Col 4:3)
• Sunday night, a sister shared how she suffered migraine headaches when people began talking earnestly about God. In the name of Jesus, we commanded the headache to leave her. It got worse. But Jesus didn't tell us to stop. Laying hands on her, claiming the promises of Scripture, we prayed with confidence that God would heal her, that the headache would leave. Of course you know what happened. Sheree's headache left because it knew Jesus would win. (Rom 8:38&39)
• And God has sent friends to share life with. Michelle. Shannon. Erin. Kendra. Women in love with God. Praise God for the body, the Bride of Christ. (Eph 5:30)
• There's just too much to celebrate! God has been encouraging and overwhelming my heart this week. He has sent people from every walk of life to speak Truth, to share Scripture, to reach out a hand and pray for growth. More than being content in Kitsap, God has restructured my heart and filled it with passion. For 18 months, I've prayed to be content, but God in His faithful wisdom has made me passionate. Praise Him!(Isaiah 55:9)

I'm pretty sure that there will be stretch marks on my heart from this week.

Thank you, Father, for allowing these glimpses of Your heart. For using story, parables, to show Truth. Continue teaching me how to love, Jesus, like You do. Help me listen. Help me rest. Help me worship. You are beautiful, God. Lead me in Your perfect way, Spirit.

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. - Luke 18:1 NIV

His name

Jesus, thank you for a beautiful day. For time in worship, in prayer. For revelation and application. For encouraging words from brothers and sisters. For challenges. For heart checks. For the BODY of Christ.

This season of Lent is so much bigger than giving up Hulu. God has been using this time to grow my heart, to teach me more about Himself, to glorify His name.

Today, I've read articles written by men passionate about Christ. Today, I've listened to some podcasts with challenges that are rocking the way I view life. Today, I've heard God's truth through conversation with three friends I need to let deeper into my life.

And the gist of it all: It's about Jesus. It's about His name rather than mine. It's His story.

As we follow Him, He works out the details. He paints the bigger picture. And it's GLORIOUS!

An article I read this morning clarifies the vision:

"Personally, I don’t want to grow old and one day look back on my life with regret that I didn’t fulfill the call of Jesus on my life. I don’t want to be standing before Jesus one day, desperately trying to explain why I buried my life in the ground instead of multiplying it.3 No, I want to live passionately, adventurously, riskily! I am convinced, that with the right sense of perspective, these ‘mirages’ needn’t be stumbling blocks. They can actually become beautiful resources, solid stepping stones and dynamic launching pads – but only if we keep them fully surrendered to the Lordship of Christ.
And maybe the first step is to realize that it’s not really on Jesus’ agenda to make us all happy. He has far better plans than that." (Kristin Jack, http://www.urbana.org/articles/jesus-doesnt-want-you-to-be-happy, 2009)
Here's another clip from a blog interview I was reading 10 minutes ago:

"Ed Stetzer: You survey quite a few false Jesuses from contemporary culture in the Introduction--Grammy Award Speech Jesus, Hippie Jesus, ATM Jesus, etc. Which one do you think is most prevalent in the church right now? And what is the book's response to it?

Jared Wilson: I don't have the research resources that you do, so I can't put a figure on this, but I can tell you that my biggest concern is actually about an Invisible Jesus. Jesus, the Best Supporting Actor. Cameo Appearance Jesus. The "Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain" Jesus.

In way too many churches - just one would be too many, but I know this is a larger problem than that because I have experienced it myself and I hear from many others across the country who have as well - Jesus barely or rarely shows up. He may make an appearance in an illustration or something, but he is not the point of the message. Sometimes his name is never mentioned. Perusing church websites or pastor's blogs or Twitter feeds, they hardly ever mention him.

It's bizarre. It's distressing. But it makes sense given the current state of evangelicalism." (http://www.edstetzer.com/2009/07/leadership-book-interview-your.html,  2009).

A lot to process. Praise His name!

the second mile

 In high school, one of my favorite quotes from Jesus was:


And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. --Matthew 5:41.


Every cross-country season, I'd laugh and hold onto this command for dear life. It's printed on the back of one of my old running sweatshirts, even.


A couple years removed from high school, now, this command becomes even bigger. It's not just about running laps on a track, or walking someone home. It's even more than a call to go above what is expected.


Jesus speaks of the heart behind love. The hope of a changing heart. The impact of sacrifice.


It's been a week of forced miles. Extra hours with students, with co-workers, with administrators. Extra requests of time, energy, service for the mission. But that's the heart of love.


Love doesn't hesitate as it counts the cost. Love purchases the cure.


This morning, as I sit at my dining room table in a precious moment of solitude, I am so grateful that Jesus loved. If he had stopped after the "first mile", I would never know the hope of life with the Father. That second mile, His sacrifice of a sinless life, purchased our lives. 


Suddenly, a Saturday full of lesson-planning doesn't seem like work. It's the privilege of love.

marching

Life is so full. So busy right now.

It's the back stretch of the 3rd lap of the 1600 m. (And what a terrible race it can be!) The point where you realize how tired you are, that everything hurts. Not close enough to sprint to the finish. Too far committed to quit.

The adrenaline kicks in.

God is doing amazing things in the lives of people around me: Sending missionaries to Argentina, to Mexico, to Sierra Leone. Raising up leaders for Bible studies, youth movements, the COTN summer internships. Bringing couples closer together in marriage relationships. Blessing families with healthy children.

But then I watch the news. Or I go to work. Or I try to wake up in the morning. Life is exploding in my face. The world is crumbling, literally. With so many earthquakes, I keep remembering the part in Psalm 46 that talks about "the mountains fall into the heart of the sea." Some days it feels like nothing is stable, secure.

Trials make us stronger. It's in the book of James. And other places. Joy comes from Jesus. In any situation, it's there. Just so hard to remember when you're marching.

Or running.

Or crawling towards the finish line. Whatever it takes.