Saturday, October 31, 2009

before the crash

Today has evolved into an anti-social day.

This morning, I woke up to sun breaks after a pretty violent wind and rainstorm last night. I headed to a coffee shop in town to have a quiet time of solitude. Texted some friends for their prayer requests. Spent some time reading the Bible.

Then, as the day wears on I watch my attitude slip from "stellar" to "sucky".

Taking the ferry to Seattle this afternoon, my attitude was under attack. Memories haunted each corner of the car deck. What better day than Halloween to deal with your ghosts, I guess.

I met up with my parents at the ferry dock to show them around Pioneer square. (They'd spent the afternoon meeting up with John at REI and were getting ready to leave Seattle). The parking meter wouldn't give me a receipt and I almost burst into tears. Luckily, Dad is pretty level-headed and saw another meter around the corner. Crisis averted.

I've always hated November. Life gets so busy just before the Holidays. And, at least in Kitsap, the weather consistently is miserable. I feel that my attitude is right on the edge. Moments away from temptation, from mistakes, from weeping. November is always the time when the ground falls out from underneath.

Maybe this November will be different. But, if today is any indication, I feel like I'm in the slow-motion moment of life--right before the crash.
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Thursday, October 29, 2009

marriage invasion

Entering the season of life where everyone is getting married (hyperbole, of course) I've been noticing just how many sermons are about marriage.

Por examplo,


It's almost like God's trying to prepare my heart for something...

Seriously, though. What a blessed season of life! I won't always be able to spend every evening meeting with fellow sojourners of the mission. There will come a day when I can't focus completely on the 150 kids in my classroom, when I can't grade quizzes during a Grey's Anatomy marathon. Some day, I'll have to cook with more than just a microwave.

But, in the meantime, I'm going to fall asleep listening to podcasts. God's growing my heart to be a woman completely filled by His mission. Satisfied.
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Monday, October 26, 2009

four lists

From my notebook over the last seven days:

What breaks my heart
  • People who feel alone
  • Injustice to children
  • Physical abuse
  • Wasted opportunities
  • Abandoned relationships (especially between parents and children)
  • Hearts hardened to the Gospel
  • Idolatry in my own life
  • Watching loved ones make poor choices

What irritates me:
  • Flaky people
  • Students who don't study
  • Gas that costs more than $3.00 a gallon. Seriously?
  • Dark and cloudy winters
  • Internet going out
  • Poor listeners
  • Snooze button (and how often I use it)
  • Poor communicators
  • Ambiguity
  • Guys who ask you out over text messages.
What excites me:
  • Hiking (anywhere)
  • Starting a new task
  • Impossible challenges
  • Potential in others
  • Good musicians
  • Seeing old friends after a long absence
  • Being in love
  • Sharing the story of my life and what God's done
What gives me hope:
  • New believers being baptized
  • Compassion projects
  • Prophecies
  • 50-year wedding anniversaries
  • Students sharing the Gospel
  • Seeing the mountains when the clouds break
  • Parents invested in their children
  • Reading the Bible
  • Hot cocoa by the fire

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Sunday, October 18, 2009

Challenge

Last Wednesday night, we were talking about resisting temptations at youth group. At the end of our discussion time, I posed a question: "What is our action point going to be this week?"

One of the students immediately replied, "Read from the book of James every day in order to apply God's word and resist temptation."

Everyone looked around, leaders and students, and decided that it was a challenge we would choose to take. The students were passionately confident that if everyone took the challenge, we would have amazing stories of God's goodness to share next Wednesday. Such faith.

Today, I'm taking Sabbath at the coffee shop by the school. I just read James chapter 3, where it says:

"3:13 Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct he should show his works done in the gentleness that wisdom brings. 21 3:14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfishness in your hearts, do not boast and tell lies against the truth. 3:15 Such 22 wisdom does not come 23 from above but is earthly, natural, 24 demonic. 3:16 For where there is jealousy and selfishness, there is disorder and every evil practice. 3:17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, accommodating, 25 full of mercy and good fruit, 26 impartial, and not hypocritical. 27 3:18 And the fruit that consists of righteousness 28 is planted 29 in peace among 30 those who make peace." (courtesy netbible, http://bible.org )

The challenge within the Scripture is even greater than the challenge to read the Scriptures. It will be interesting on Wednesday to see what God's been doing in the lives of teenagers in our community.
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Friday, October 9, 2009

toil and meaning

Every Thursday night I hang out with some girlfriends to read the book of Ecclesiastes. We just finished up chapter 3 last night.

If I were to rewrite the beginning of chapter 3 at this season of life, it would go something like this:

"There is a time for everything,

A time for lectures and a time for labs
A time for sleeping and a time for waking (5:40 am)
A time for working and a time for hiking
A time for hoping and a time for weeping
A time for assigning and a time for grading
A time for listening and a time for advising
A time for sharing and a time keeping to yourself"

In the end, not much of this matters. Like, the tests and labs I keep grading... pretty meaningless. There's some eternal stuff going down, though. That's the stuff to focus on!
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Saturday, October 3, 2009

go deep

This morning I went to a meeting of all the small group leaders at our church. We talked about what's important in creating a group environment to welcome, uphold, challenge and grow people. We read Scripture. We prayed. We drank coffee. I won a painting.

In the last 15 minutes, one of the lead pastors gave a quick wrap-up speech. He challenged us to do 2 things as leaders. Number 1: Go deep with Jesus. Get to know Him. Get to live like Him, to love Him, to look like Him. Number 2: Go deep with your culture. Get to know it. Share the Gospel through it, not against it.

It's like he spoke the anthem of my heart this year. This is exactly what God told me in Barahona. To be a good leader, a Christ-lover, I need to be completely surrendered to Christ. To be a good missionary, I need to be fluent in my culture. It helps that this is my native culture, my normal.

The challenge stands. The adventure continues. Pray for Barahona. Pray for Kitsap.
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Ephesians 5

Therefore, be imitators of God as dearly loved children and live in love, just as Christ also loved us and gave himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God. But among you there must not be either sexual immorality, impurity of any kind, or greed, as these are not fitting for the saints. Neither should there be vulgar speech, foolish talk, or coarse jesting – all of which are out of character – but rather thanksgiving. For you can be confident of this one thing: that no person who is immoral, impure, or greedy (such a person is an idolater) has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

Let nobody deceive you with empty words, for because of these things God’s wrath comes on the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them, for you were at one time darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of the light – for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness, and truth – and find out what pleases the Lord. Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For the things they do in secret are shameful even to mention. But all things being exposed by the light are made evident. For everything made evident is light, and for this reason it says:

“Awake, O sleeper!

Rise from the dead,

and Christ will shine on you!”

Therefore be very careful how you live – not as unwise but as wise, taking advantage of every opportunity, because the days are evil. For this reason do not be foolish, but be wise by understanding what the Lord’s will is. And do not get drunk with wine, which is debauchery, but be filled by the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making music in your hearts to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for each other in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, and submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as also Christ is the head of the church – he himself being the savior of the body. But as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to sanctify her by cleansing her with the washing of the water by the word, so that he may present the church to himself as glorious – not having a stain or wrinkle, or any such blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one has ever hated his own body but he feeds it and takes care of it, just as Christ also does the church, for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is great – but I am actually speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each one of you must also love his own wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

hey guys