I've spent the majority of today by myself: Waking up after my roommate left. Waiting in a coffee shop for a few hours. Window-shopping. Actually shopping. Grading quizzes. Feeding pets. Trying to cancel a wedding channel registry.
But I haven't been alone all day. Now, I'm not even talking about the theological sense of not being alone. Strictly speaking, the Holy Spirit is always with us, the Counselor sent by Christ. Then there's the concept of an omnipresent God. I mean, one of my favorite verses is at the end of Matthew, "and lo, I am with you always."
No, today has been filled with intentional encounters. God gave me time to pray. Uninterrupted time. This morning, as I left voicemails and text messages, I realized the blessing to experience sweet community. A family shared a table with me in a busy coffee shop this morning. As we began to talk, we realized how connected our lives are in this community of 170,000 people.
Then, wandering down to a bookstore, a clerk shared her passion for education and the North Kitsap area. A little later, she asked my advice to help another customer find a good travel guide. Finally checking out, she let me know of a local author who may make classroom visits. This is my community.
Farther along the street in my window-shopping adventure, I stopped at the Scandinavian Store. (Only in Poulsbo...) The troll knick-knacks and Norwegian flags reminded me of my grandparents' house, so I called and caught up on life with my Grammy. A morning that I had worried would be a lonely solo grading-fest was transformed into an object lesson of community.
Later, a friend met me at Subway to share lunch and prayers. This evening, I sharedwith 15 of the most passionate Christ-lovers I've ever met. And tonight, I'm planning an adventure to visit an old, dear friend as she prepares for her wedding this summer. Psalm 133:1 proclaims, "O how good it is when brothers live in unity."
Community doesn't have to be 24-7 eye contact. Just a way of life.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
grace availability
God uses us when we're flexible. I mean, He uses us anyways, but when we're flexible we don't have to break. I'm starting to see the benefits to being flexible. It's significantly less painful.
I'm still recovering from the sleep deprivation of Winter Camp this past weekend, but for God's glory. My heart was incredibly blessed by the opportunity to share life with 8 fantastic young women. It's amazing how God provides adventures of encouragement when we open our lives, our schedules. Truth can be overwhelming when we just sit back and listen.
Still learning to be content, to be flexible, to be available in grace, it's exciting to watch God work. I can't wait to live each day abundantly.
I'm still recovering from the sleep deprivation of Winter Camp this past weekend, but for God's glory. My heart was incredibly blessed by the opportunity to share life with 8 fantastic young women. It's amazing how God provides adventures of encouragement when we open our lives, our schedules. Truth can be overwhelming when we just sit back and listen.
Still learning to be content, to be flexible, to be available in grace, it's exciting to watch God work. I can't wait to live each day abundantly.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
learned
"and I have learned to be content in all things..."
Really? All of them? I feel that I am learning to be content, but realistically doubt that I will ever be content in all things. I live in limbo between the city where citizens are arrested in front of the grocery store, and the sleepy town known for its strip club and cheap cars. Tonight, the only letter in my mailbox was a warning from the police department about a registered sex offender moving into the neighborhood.
How did Paul do it? How did he learn to be content in all things? The guy was beaten, jailed, left for dead. How did he figure out how to be content?
I guess I'm just wondering, how could someone truly be content when life sucks that much. My life is fine, for which I am grateful, but what if it wasn't? If I were the one being arrested at the store, if I were the stripper at the bar, if I were attacked by the new neighbor, or if I were the new neighbor, it would be significantly harder to be content.
I don't think I've learned how to be content in all things. In fact, I have learned to be content on beautiful days when the sun glistens on the mountains. I have learned to be content in the loving arms of my family. I have learned to be content in the security of a contracted career. I have learned to be content in a safe home with a ready supply of food, running water, and electricity. I have learned to be content and still maintain a crappy attitude.
I have not learned very much.
Really? All of them? I feel that I am learning to be content, but realistically doubt that I will ever be content in all things. I live in limbo between the city where citizens are arrested in front of the grocery store, and the sleepy town known for its strip club and cheap cars. Tonight, the only letter in my mailbox was a warning from the police department about a registered sex offender moving into the neighborhood.
How did Paul do it? How did he learn to be content in all things? The guy was beaten, jailed, left for dead. How did he figure out how to be content?
I guess I'm just wondering, how could someone truly be content when life sucks that much. My life is fine, for which I am grateful, but what if it wasn't? If I were the one being arrested at the store, if I were the stripper at the bar, if I were attacked by the new neighbor, or if I were the new neighbor, it would be significantly harder to be content.
I don't think I've learned how to be content in all things. In fact, I have learned to be content on beautiful days when the sun glistens on the mountains. I have learned to be content in the loving arms of my family. I have learned to be content in the security of a contracted career. I have learned to be content in a safe home with a ready supply of food, running water, and electricity. I have learned to be content and still maintain a crappy attitude.
I have not learned very much.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
contrite
Reading through Psalm 51 tonight at our weekly youth leadership meeting, a few of us stopped to look up the word "contrite". I'd always thought it was a synonym for "broken" since I'd always heard them together in reference to Psalm 51:17
"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise." NAS
Turns out, contrite means so much more. It's not just another way to say "broken". Instead, it means to be filled with sorrow, with remorse. Being contrite implies an attitude of regret, of repentance. Not just emptiness, but overflowing sorrow.
That's how God uses us: weak, broken, repentant. He wants to be the One who fills us. He wants to overflow from our weakness. I want to have the same broken, contrite heart that David had. I want to hear from Jesus so I too can echo the words of Paul, that:
"He has said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 NAS
How do you do that? How can you be glad about weaknesses? How can the powerful Christ dwell in a broken heart?
Maybe Christ is too big to fit in my heart any other way.
I want my heart to be broken for a reason. I want to be emptied of my self, filled with sorrow over my sin, so Christ may come in for the victory. I want His Glory to be all people see in my story. His power, made perfect in my weakness.
I want to be contrite.
"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise." NAS
Turns out, contrite means so much more. It's not just another way to say "broken". Instead, it means to be filled with sorrow, with remorse. Being contrite implies an attitude of regret, of repentance. Not just emptiness, but overflowing sorrow.
That's how God uses us: weak, broken, repentant. He wants to be the One who fills us. He wants to overflow from our weakness. I want to have the same broken, contrite heart that David had. I want to hear from Jesus so I too can echo the words of Paul, that:
"He has said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 NAS
How do you do that? How can you be glad about weaknesses? How can the powerful Christ dwell in a broken heart?
Maybe Christ is too big to fit in my heart any other way.
I want my heart to be broken for a reason. I want to be emptied of my self, filled with sorrow over my sin, so Christ may come in for the victory. I want His Glory to be all people see in my story. His power, made perfect in my weakness.
I want to be contrite.
Friday, February 13, 2009
constant challenge
Driving home from another soccer massacre, the radio DJ was talking with callers about Friday the 13th. I had forgotten (a) that it was Friday and (b) that it was the 13th. Not that I am superstitious, but I feel the Bible clearly describes spiritual battles.
"Take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm." Ephesians 6:13 NAS
I started thinking about how 2008 in my life was marked by deep, obvious spiritual warfare. From demonic nightmares to painful idolatry, from injuries and diseases to broken relationships. This year, however, has been relatively calm.
At first, this insight freaked me out. I've grown up with the idea that spiritual warfare is a demonic reaction to Christ-followers pleasing God. Why doesn't the darkness care about what I'm doing? Am I not doing anything that pisses off evil? Have I become complacent?
But maybe there's a different reason.
"He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul;
He guides me in paths of righteousness
For His name's sake." Psalm 23:2-3
Part of the constant challenge of obeying the Shepherd, the King, is following wherever He leads. I feel as though I've been pulled off the front lines for a moment, sent home to heal battle wounds. Why has it taken so long to appreciate this furlough?
I know there will be many more battles for my heart, but I already know the Victor. He died for me so I would never fear death. He lives so I may live life fully. He is always with me so I will never be alone. He shelters me so I can always be secure. He loves me.
Happy Valentines Day, too.
"Take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm." Ephesians 6:13 NAS
I started thinking about how 2008 in my life was marked by deep, obvious spiritual warfare. From demonic nightmares to painful idolatry, from injuries and diseases to broken relationships. This year, however, has been relatively calm.
At first, this insight freaked me out. I've grown up with the idea that spiritual warfare is a demonic reaction to Christ-followers pleasing God. Why doesn't the darkness care about what I'm doing? Am I not doing anything that pisses off evil? Have I become complacent?
But maybe there's a different reason.
"He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul;
He guides me in paths of righteousness
For His name's sake." Psalm 23:2-3
Part of the constant challenge of obeying the Shepherd, the King, is following wherever He leads. I feel as though I've been pulled off the front lines for a moment, sent home to heal battle wounds. Why has it taken so long to appreciate this furlough?
I know there will be many more battles for my heart, but I already know the Victor. He died for me so I would never fear death. He lives so I may live life fully. He is always with me so I will never be alone. He shelters me so I can always be secure. He loves me.
Happy Valentines Day, too.
Monday, February 9, 2009
εὐδοκία
Tonight at a small group Bible study, we started reading through Ephesians.Beginning his letter to the Ephesians, Paul gets carried away in doxology. Reading that first chapter never gets old. It's like Paul is right there in the room with you, praying for the growing church.
My old NAS Bible, duct-taped together and missing the back cover, is filled with notes in the margins and highlighted word studies. The majority of the notes are in Ephesians, thanks to a painful vanride this summer through central California. On the top of the page, I noticed a simple note written this summer: "Look up Greek for 'kind intention.'"
In the middle of spontaneous doxology, Paul describes how God "made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His kind intention" (1:9). In most other versions, this phrase is translated "good pleasure." In Greek, the work is εὐδοκία. Not knowing enough Greek to have any idea what that actually means, I turned to Blue Letter Bible...
εὐδοκία
My old NAS Bible, duct-taped together and missing the back cover, is filled with notes in the margins and highlighted word studies. The majority of the notes are in Ephesians, thanks to a painful vanride this summer through central California. On the top of the page, I noticed a simple note written this summer: "Look up Greek for 'kind intention.'"
In the middle of spontaneous doxology, Paul describes how God "made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His kind intention" (1:9). In most other versions, this phrase is translated "good pleasure." In Greek, the work is εὐδοκία. Not knowing enough Greek to have any idea what that actually means, I turned to Blue Letter Bible...
εὐδοκία
1) will, choice
a) good will, kindly intent, benevolence
2) delight, pleasure, satisfaction
3) desire
a) for delight in any absent thing easily produces longing for it
courtesy blue letter bible
So, why does this matter? It's for God's good pleasure that He reveals His will to us. His kind intention, His pleasure, and His will are all interconnected. It's all about His grace. It's not about anything we do. Praise be to God!
God's will, revealed to us, is a gift. The expression of God's kind intention. Bringing pleasure to the King. Eudokia.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Purpose
Ephesians chapter 5 is posted in the left margin of this page. All of it.
And you have to read it as a whole for it to really make sense. You have to re-read it. Memorize it. Live according to it's forceful directives. You have to apply it to fully understand what it means to "walk in the Light."
Ultimately, that's what we're called to strive for: "and find out what pleases the Lord."
It's the Gospel filled out.
It's the mission with pertinent details.
It's light shining into darkness.
It's truth winning.
It's not settling for any substitute.
It's relationships modeling Christ's deep passion for His Church.
This is how we're asked to live. God wants the best for His people. He wants them to live like He loves them. (Not that anything we do can change the amount, the magnitude of God's love.) It's just that... love spurs action.
As God's beloved, we realize our identity by living like He loves us. We choose to walk in the Light. We want to please our Lover. We want others to know about how amazing He is.
He's pretty amazing.
And you have to read it as a whole for it to really make sense. You have to re-read it. Memorize it. Live according to it's forceful directives. You have to apply it to fully understand what it means to "walk in the Light."
Ultimately, that's what we're called to strive for: "and find out what pleases the Lord."
It's the Gospel filled out.
It's the mission with pertinent details.
It's light shining into darkness.
It's truth winning.
It's not settling for any substitute.
It's relationships modeling Christ's deep passion for His Church.
This is how we're asked to live. God wants the best for His people. He wants them to live like He loves them. (Not that anything we do can change the amount, the magnitude of God's love.) It's just that... love spurs action.
As God's beloved, we realize our identity by living like He loves us. We choose to walk in the Light. We want to please our Lover. We want others to know about how amazing He is.
He's pretty amazing.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
ancient prayer
Fully exhausted, I can't even pray. Borrowing the cry of the Psalmist:
" May the splendor of the Lord endure!
" May the splendor of the Lord endure!
May the Lord find pleasure in the living things he has made!
He looks down on the earth and it shakes;
he touches the mountains and they start to smolder.
I will sing to the Lord as long as I live;
I will sing praise to my God as long as I exist!
May my thoughts be pleasing to him!
I will rejoice in the Lord."
Psalm 104:32-35 NET
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Ephesians 5
Therefore, be imitators of God as dearly loved children and live in love, just as Christ also loved us and gave himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God. But among you there must not be either sexual immorality, impurity of any kind, or greed, as these are not fitting for the saints. Neither should there be vulgar speech, foolish talk, or coarse jesting – all of which are out of character – but rather thanksgiving. For you can be confident of this one thing: that no person who is immoral, impure, or greedy (such a person is an idolater) has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
Let nobody deceive you with empty words, for because of these things God’s wrath comes on the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them, for you were at one time darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of the light – for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness, and truth – and find out what pleases the Lord. Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For the things they do in secret are shameful even to mention. But all things being exposed by the light are made evident. For everything made evident is light, and for this reason it says:
“Awake, O sleeper!
Rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you!”
Therefore be very careful how you live – not as unwise but as wise, taking advantage of every opportunity, because the days are evil. For this reason do not be foolish, but be wise by understanding what the Lord’s will is. And do not get drunk with wine, which is debauchery, but be filled by the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making music in your hearts to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for each other in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, and submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as also Christ is the head of the church – he himself being the savior of the body. But as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to sanctify her by cleansing her with the washing of the water by the word, so that he may present the church to himself as glorious – not having a stain or wrinkle, or any such blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one has ever hated his own body but he feeds it and takes care of it, just as Christ also does the church, for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is great – but I am actually speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each one of you must also love his own wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.