Always, I am learning that God loves me. He loves His Church so desperately, so beautifully. God, Himself, is love. I am learning to love.
With a heart that could be worse for the wear, I am learning that there is always room to love. It's like God is stretching the corners of my heart, making more room to love each day. The heart is a physical muscle, but it acts like a spiritual muscle, too. Through the unexpected and uncomfortable of the last few months, God keeps defining the tone of my heart. I think my capacity to love is larger now.
I keep praying to trust God more.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
a dollar well-spent
Depending on how you spin it, the lyric is either depressing or beautiful. Either it's a concession to regret or a valuation of commitment. Predictably, I choose the optimistic outlook.
I continue to see love as a choice. I continue to see love as a devoted and intentional series of actions. I continue to see love as well-informed sacrifice, aware of hardships and prepared for the unexpected. That's what makes it beautiful instead of depressing.
I've been learning about love my whole life.
So, if love is truly is a dollar already spent, I will continue to believe it was a dollar spent well. But love cannot be quantified within the metaphor of money. Love is significantly larger and more meaningful. I believe love to be timeless.
The ESV alone translates the phrase "steadfast love" 193 times. It's not the made-for-TV genre of love, either. No, it's the Rescuer love. I've been learning about love my whole life because God is good. Love exists because God exists. God makes love real.
Knowing God's love frees us to share His love. That love is beautiful. That love sits and rests, hopes and dreams, waits and restores. His love inspires us to love each other, beautifully instead of perfectly.
Love is the song I will sing loudest. Love is the dollar I will spend the most. Always
"So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him." 1 John 4:16
Thursday, January 17, 2013
for you, Grammy
Here's the update on my life:
I've realized, yet again, the deeper implications of Heavenly citizenship. It means that every human relationship is temporary. "Season" is one of my favorite words because it recognizes the temporary nature of life on Earth.
With the dissolution (maybe "transition" is a better word) of my relationship with Stanley, I realize that for a successful Christian marriage both spouses must recognize their Heavenly citizenship. Marriage is just as temporary as any relationship in light of eternity. Though I should be used to such world-rocking truths, my world continues to rock.
I am made for Heaven.
This reality is brighter than the shadows of Earth. Pain and pleasure are temporary. Joy and grief are temporary, too. Praise God, I was made to worship Him. Worship is eternal. So, in embracing eternal life, I'm using more time to pray. More time to read His Word. More time to love His people. More time to rest in His love.
"the reality, however, is in Christ." -Colossians 2:17
This is how a soul heals: reclaiming identity in Christ. Even if my heart gets damaged on Earth, my eternal heart cannot be broken. Jesus holds my heart too tightly. There's a promise in John 10 that "no one can snatch them out of the Father's hand." That promise is not temporary, it's eternal!
All this to say, I'm doing better.
My perspective was broken for a season. Life is hard when I forget that I'm from Heaven. Now, I hope to keep walking in this conviction. Now, I hope to share this Truth with those I love. Now, I hope that Christ's love will again pour out of my life, drawing others to Himself.
This is how the Kingdom spreads. This is how God brings Heaven to Earth. This is how the Church is built. This is how Christ's name is proclaimed. This is how we live.
I've realized, yet again, the deeper implications of Heavenly citizenship. It means that every human relationship is temporary. "Season" is one of my favorite words because it recognizes the temporary nature of life on Earth.
With the dissolution (maybe "transition" is a better word) of my relationship with Stanley, I realize that for a successful Christian marriage both spouses must recognize their Heavenly citizenship. Marriage is just as temporary as any relationship in light of eternity. Though I should be used to such world-rocking truths, my world continues to rock.
I am made for Heaven.
This reality is brighter than the shadows of Earth. Pain and pleasure are temporary. Joy and grief are temporary, too. Praise God, I was made to worship Him. Worship is eternal. So, in embracing eternal life, I'm using more time to pray. More time to read His Word. More time to love His people. More time to rest in His love.
"the reality, however, is in Christ." -Colossians 2:17
This is how a soul heals: reclaiming identity in Christ. Even if my heart gets damaged on Earth, my eternal heart cannot be broken. Jesus holds my heart too tightly. There's a promise in John 10 that "no one can snatch them out of the Father's hand." That promise is not temporary, it's eternal!
All this to say, I'm doing better.
My perspective was broken for a season. Life is hard when I forget that I'm from Heaven. Now, I hope to keep walking in this conviction. Now, I hope to share this Truth with those I love. Now, I hope that Christ's love will again pour out of my life, drawing others to Himself.
This is how the Kingdom spreads. This is how God brings Heaven to Earth. This is how the Church is built. This is how Christ's name is proclaimed. This is how we live.
Friday, January 11, 2013
two outcomes
With the extra time lately, I've read a lot of books. I finished The Difference Maker by John C. Maxwell last night. The book is securely returned to the Kitsap Regional Library return bin, so I can't look up the proper citation for this next quote. However, the truth continues to be paradigm-shifting.
According to the cited author (who I can't remember...) there are two outcomes in any situation: 1) you win or 2) you learn.
In many ways, life is familiar right now. I still live in the same community where my roots are. I'm walking out of a good relationship that had been infected by sin. I'm starting a new job and living in a new house. Many of these lessons are lessons I've learned once before. (Okay, more than once... but review, nonetheless.) I'd become so bent on "winning" within the scope of education, that I forgot the joy of learning. Ironic, I know.
"And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you." -Psalm 9:10
In the inevitable transition that must accompany growth, there is One who remains unchanging. I've learned that before, and apparently need additional review. So, there are two outcomes for 2013 (and every smaller increment of life, for that matter). Either, win or learn. I can win with Christ--the ultimate victor-- securing eternal life for His beloved. Or I can learn from failures, through His beautiful sacrifice of grace. What a sobering prospect.
No, in all these things we are more than conquerorsthrough him who loved us.-- Romans 8:37
My struggles pale in comparison to eternity, even within the history of my own existence. I am confident there will be bigger challenges in the future, too. But there is an overwhelming power of hope that comes with the promise of being on the side of the Champion.
Praise be to our loving God. He equips us to both win and learn every day. His love is too big for us to understand. Thank you, sweet Savior.
But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared.-- Psalm 130:4
According to the cited author (who I can't remember...) there are two outcomes in any situation: 1) you win or 2) you learn.
In many ways, life is familiar right now. I still live in the same community where my roots are. I'm walking out of a good relationship that had been infected by sin. I'm starting a new job and living in a new house. Many of these lessons are lessons I've learned once before. (Okay, more than once... but review, nonetheless.) I'd become so bent on "winning" within the scope of education, that I forgot the joy of learning. Ironic, I know.
"And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you." -Psalm 9:10
In the inevitable transition that must accompany growth, there is One who remains unchanging. I've learned that before, and apparently need additional review. So, there are two outcomes for 2013 (and every smaller increment of life, for that matter). Either, win or learn. I can win with Christ--the ultimate victor-- securing eternal life for His beloved. Or I can learn from failures, through His beautiful sacrifice of grace. What a sobering prospect.
No, in all these things we are more than conquerorsthrough him who loved us.-- Romans 8:37
My struggles pale in comparison to eternity, even within the history of my own existence. I am confident there will be bigger challenges in the future, too. But there is an overwhelming power of hope that comes with the promise of being on the side of the Champion.
Praise be to our loving God. He equips us to both win and learn every day. His love is too big for us to understand. Thank you, sweet Savior.
But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared.-- Psalm 130:4
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
a year without plans
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you have imagined." -Thoreau
The year is only two days old, and I have no clue how it will unfold. I am still dog-sitting for two more days. The puppy is happily curled at my feet as I type. The Sugar Bowl is playing in the background. The quote above is from my cocoa cup.
Tomorrow, I have two "plans" on the agenda.
First, I'm meeting with the staff of Coffee Oasis to talk about joining their barista team. The big picture of the organization is to bring the Gospel to Kitsap county by providing hope and resources to homeless teenagers. As a barista at the Government building, the mission is to make good coffee and good conversation, strengthening community relationships and access to resources. These are skills God already gave me, for such a time as this.
Then, I have another class about the theology of the Catholic Church. The decisions of how to worship God are less clouded now, because I know that whatever decision I make will be mine. I continue to be amazed by how BIG God is. His plans are perfect.
These "plans" are small in the scope of a year: just two little meetings. But, any "plans" are small in the scope of eternity. I feel that I've been practicing the Thoreau quote my entire life. It has led to some incredible adventures. It has also led to quiet seasons of rest. Right now is a season of waiting, and I learn to be humble and content. (I know... I've said that many times before. At least I'm consistent!)
Independently, many friends and family members have encouraged me with the same promise made to the Israelites in exile:
"For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11 paraphrased
God isn't looking at my life to say, "Crap! I forgot to tell Laura to do anything in 2013." Rather, He is stripping away distractions. He's refining my dreams and teaching me to trust Him.
It's about to be a beautiful year. Praying for your plans, too.
The year is only two days old, and I have no clue how it will unfold. I am still dog-sitting for two more days. The puppy is happily curled at my feet as I type. The Sugar Bowl is playing in the background. The quote above is from my cocoa cup.
Tomorrow, I have two "plans" on the agenda.
First, I'm meeting with the staff of Coffee Oasis to talk about joining their barista team. The big picture of the organization is to bring the Gospel to Kitsap county by providing hope and resources to homeless teenagers. As a barista at the Government building, the mission is to make good coffee and good conversation, strengthening community relationships and access to resources. These are skills God already gave me, for such a time as this.
Then, I have another class about the theology of the Catholic Church. The decisions of how to worship God are less clouded now, because I know that whatever decision I make will be mine. I continue to be amazed by how BIG God is. His plans are perfect.
These "plans" are small in the scope of a year: just two little meetings. But, any "plans" are small in the scope of eternity. I feel that I've been practicing the Thoreau quote my entire life. It has led to some incredible adventures. It has also led to quiet seasons of rest. Right now is a season of waiting, and I learn to be humble and content. (I know... I've said that many times before. At least I'm consistent!)
Independently, many friends and family members have encouraged me with the same promise made to the Israelites in exile:
"For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11 paraphrased
God isn't looking at my life to say, "Crap! I forgot to tell Laura to do anything in 2013." Rather, He is stripping away distractions. He's refining my dreams and teaching me to trust Him.
It's about to be a beautiful year. Praying for your plans, too.
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Ephesians 5
Therefore, be imitators of God as dearly loved children and live in love, just as Christ also loved us and gave himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God. But among you there must not be either sexual immorality, impurity of any kind, or greed, as these are not fitting for the saints. Neither should there be vulgar speech, foolish talk, or coarse jesting – all of which are out of character – but rather thanksgiving. For you can be confident of this one thing: that no person who is immoral, impure, or greedy (such a person is an idolater) has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
Let nobody deceive you with empty words, for because of these things God’s wrath comes on the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them, for you were at one time darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of the light – for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness, and truth – and find out what pleases the Lord. Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For the things they do in secret are shameful even to mention. But all things being exposed by the light are made evident. For everything made evident is light, and for this reason it says:
“Awake, O sleeper!
Rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you!”
Therefore be very careful how you live – not as unwise but as wise, taking advantage of every opportunity, because the days are evil. For this reason do not be foolish, but be wise by understanding what the Lord’s will is. And do not get drunk with wine, which is debauchery, but be filled by the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making music in your hearts to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for each other in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, and submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as also Christ is the head of the church – he himself being the savior of the body. But as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to sanctify her by cleansing her with the washing of the water by the word, so that he may present the church to himself as glorious – not having a stain or wrinkle, or any such blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one has ever hated his own body but he feeds it and takes care of it, just as Christ also does the church, for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is great – but I am actually speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each one of you must also love his own wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.